The Uncomfortable Truth

People my age should think about things such as wealth creation, career, marriage, entertainment, property, investments. The list goes on. Of late, these 3 words kept repeating in my head - I will die. When I get overwhelmed, I say them out loud slowly - I... will... die... It is meant to calm myself.

Since I will die, is it worth the while to be so worked up and worrying non-stop about my office job, or when something goes wrong? Is it worth my energy to hold on to old grudges and disappointments? Is it worth it to climb as quickly as possible up the corporate ladder and to accumulate all the wealth possible?

Death - why think such morbid thoughts. But whether I like it or not, it is definite. We are all under the sentence of death. We rightly deserve to die. In D.A. Carson's book "How Long O Lord?", the question is asked, "If we are too shocked by "untimely" death (Is death ever "timely"?), may our reaction not owe something to the unvoiced assumption that we ought to live out a full span, that God somehow owes us that? But he doesn't. It is because of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed."

Is it with fear when I speak out those 3 words? No. Like I said, it calms me down. It brings me down to my knees in humility. It shouts some sense into my head. Have I achieved my life's purpose? Have I spent enough time with my family? Have I missed the chance to tell someone how much I really love him or her? Have I been to places that I have longed to see? Have I said sorry when I was wrong?


It reminds me that I am just a mere mortal. "...for dust you are and to dust you will return." (Gen 3:19). The Christian does not fear death, it is the gateway to the glorious hope of eternal life with the Living God. Yet I would not say I have no fears. I fear that I may disown God in times of pain and suffering; God forbid. I fear that somehow this hope I have in God turns out to be false. This can never be, else it would make God to be most cruel.

The truth is that we will never be 'comfortable' with the thought of death, the sight of it, the loneliness and the sense of great loss. I struggle to accept death, especially death of a loved one. In our innermost nature, we were made to live forever. Death is not natural. But I have learned that anyone who loves, will experience loss. Yet, despite deep grief and loss, we can continue to live and face each new day, as long as we are loved and we can love. After all that is said and done, love is and still is the greatest thing in the world. Surely I will die, a physical death, but the one who loves forever, lives forever.