That Lady Boss

It is funny but we enjoy talking about our bosses. Whether they are good or bad, whether they are smart or not, whether they are generous or not. We can talk endlessly about them. It is just a great topic in any office conversation because everyone can have their say. If you are the boss, it is somewhat a good measure of how you are doing leading the pack.

I always say that I am the team leader. But in recent times, I have come to accept that I am 'the boss'. Even my staff tells other people, "She is my boss". They treat me as their boss, so there is no room for failing to live up to that title.

Am I a tough boss, a serious one, a no-nonsense boss? Or am I the lenient one who just lets everything run on their own, hoping for the best? I have worked for male and female bosses. There is no one perfect boss. But then again, it always seems harder for a female to work for a female boss. In a mostly male dominated management team, the lady boss has to work extra hard to earn her place. She must not be seen as weak, as a 'yes' woman, or to be intimidated by her male peers. She must keep her cool and not let her emotions rule. She must keep herself 'detached' from personal involvement with her subordinates. She must dress in a certain way that commands respect from all around her. She must carry herself with impeccable professionalism and yet not lose the common touch. It is a high calling indeed to be a boss. I used to be a participant of those office conversations. Now that I have been upgraded, I feel odd to know that people are in fact talking about me in that way.

Then again, if I had never led teams, I would not have learned so much. I learned that each individual have their own strengths and weaknesses. We cannot all be the brain; we also need hands and feet, eyes and nose to make the body whole. When one person does not pull his or her weight, it affects the entire team morale, just as our physical bodies would suffer if one part is in pain. We need every team member to play their part and to leverage on their strengths.

People have told me that in your professional career, you must never say that you are sorry. Yet I have apologised to my staff if I ever but raised my voice even a little and felt bad about it afterwards. I do not keep grudges, else I could not carry on. To some, apologising is seen as a weakness. But in actual fact, it takes great courage for someone to say "I am sorry". Respect cannot be bought, it must be earned.

The lady boss is not always perfect for she is every bit a human. Often she has to make tough choices and she has to take risks. She can make mistakes too. She has to carry the brunt for her own mistakes as well as the mistakes of her team. In my career, I have seen my lady boss break down in tears. She could not bear the thought that she hired the wrong person and that it brought down the morale of the whole team. It is often tougher for a lady boss to deal with difficult people because deep down, most women are not ruthless enough and because they care about the other person's feelings. Those are some of the things that a lady boss needs to overcome in order to survive conflicts in the workplace. Usually it is right to be compassionate. However, a boss must always be fair and objective. It is the norm that whenever employees get a low rating, they would immediately criticise the boss. They do not realise that it is actually more painful for the boss to give a bad rating, than to give a good rating for their own team members.

Despite the challenges, many still aspire to be the boss; to sit at the position of great power, of status, of honour. In the corporate world, most bosses work for a bigger boss. Even if they have reached the top rung of the ladder, at one time or another, they would have had worked for a boss. Yet, many who have achieved the position of leadership rule with an iron fist, forgetting what it is to be subordinate.

Whether male or female, a true leader is not one who expects to be served but one who chooses to serve. That is both the responsibility and the privilege of a leader; to care for and to make a difference for his or her employees. Sometimes we think that perhaps we could make a bigger difference if only we were in a different profession. I learned that we can make that difference just right where we have been placed. What can be more rewarding than hearing from a colleague that your staff is motivated because you took the time to train and coach her? Or when a candidate in an interview said that he heard good things about you as a manager, from his ex-colleague who now works in your team. Surely one of the greatest rewards for a boss is knowing that there are people out there who would want to work for him or her. These people would pledge their loyalty and commitment because they know that this boss will look out for their best interests.